Plus Isn’t Equal And I’m Fine With It

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tempimageforsaveWhat does “Plus is Equal” mean? I originally believed it to be a movement to enforce the importance of acceptance within our society regardless of body size or weight. Initially, I saw it as a great campaign and one I wanted to support. However, as time progressed I felt less inclined to support the idea of plus being equal.

It is evident by the words that I write that I am an advocate for self-acceptance. I believe the only acceptance we should seek is from ourselves. I realize there are quite a few people within the community who disagree with me – to an extent. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the push for overall acceptance of the fuller-figured woman in our world. But, let’s be honest – there is only but so much acceptance we are going to achieve.

After the posting of one of my latest CurvyStyle Blog contributions, I was questioned about my stance. A reader asked, “How do you accept yourself if you don’t see others like you represented? When plus size women aren’t represented the message is that we don’t matter. It is time for that message to change.”

I completely understand the reader’s point of view. By no means am I in support of a message that says the plus-size woman doesn’t matter. However, I think we need to be more realistic. It is impossible to have every human being represented or accepted in our society. I am a woman who is Black and fat and there are individuals in this world who will never view me as beautiful or even equal because of it. I would be doing a huge disservice to myself If I relied on others to validate me in any area of my being. So I must validate and accept myself. Instead of spending energy trying to influence “outsiders” to accept us – why not push for self-acceptance?

Some may view my words as negative, and that is fine, however that is not my intent. My hope is to ignite thought and consideration in regards to how we view ourselves. In a few more days, Lord willing, I will be 41 years old. In retrospect, I spent too many of these precious years seeking approval and acceptance from others. I have come to terms with the fact that everyone will not consider me beautiful, intelligent, acceptable, or equal and I am fine with that. I am now focused on what I think.

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Towanda is a self-acceptance advocate born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. Ms. Bryant promotes self-love and acceptance through her writing, which can be found on her blogs; Diary of a Stylish Buxom Beauty and My Heels in Life. Ms. Bryant expresses the importance of identifying and embracing the beauty found within all of us no matter what society says. Her writing contributions can also be found on and Medium.

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